Facebook : Life, Death & Lot's Wife

Immediately after I posted about Lot's Wife, I went to type in someone's name on my facebook and a certain person popped up. T I hadn't contacted that person in a few years nor had I been thinking about them. See in my last post I said, do not reminisce on xyz. You fill in the blank. Well, this is my xyz. Or one of them because we have multiple xyz's. This certain person tried to contact me through another source and so forth and I knew that I was not to be in contact with them. But right then and there I had a decision to make. Keep looking forward or look back? FB is not evil BUT it seeing that person on there jsut could've taken me down a completely different path (please see previous post).

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In bondage to Beauty

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
2 Corin. 4:16
So, I cut my hair....

after I got it cut, no makeup & all (Well other than the lipstick lol)

Earlier this year I couldn't stop talking about how I wanted to grow out my hair. I REFUSED to cut it. I hated trims! I had in extensions for a while too! I was sooo excited. And then guess what? My hair started falling out. In clumps. randomly. And it was weird as it wasn't from the scalp but breaking off midstrand. I knew it wasn't from being dry or damaged or from split ends. So what did I do? Freak out! Big time. And guess what? That did nothing but wasted my time and made me mad and be worried. Why? Because I thoguht I was going to go bald! Now this might sound really extreme but it's true ! It's actually a "legitimate" worry. When I was in middle school the sides of my hair began falling out. It began breaking off from bottom straight on up and eventually on the right side it fell out at the root. And it never grew back. My signature ponytails were ruined. And  I wasn't being paranoid either because people would come up to me and say "did your hair fall out?" or "what happened?". Side note: NEVER ASK ANYONE THAT ! I'm sure they noticed the bald spot before you did . But back to the story, it was very noticeable and to "cover it up" I always had to wear a bang pushed over to that side to cover it. I will tell you that I am well in my 20's and I just only really got over that about last year or so. I got tired of worrying about it. Thank you Jesus! And then...this happens again and over the Enemy plants the belief that this same thing will happen again.

my extensions

But this time...I was prepared. Yes, I had my mother to calm me down a few times. But God really dealt with me about this. He challenged me : Mila, what would that mean to you if your hair did fall out? I felt God asking me this. He was asking me, what would that mean to you? Would your whole world fall apart? Is your life built around your hair? Is your beauty built around your whole head? I prayed to Him instead of worrying and He answered. I know this sounds crazy but yes, I prayed to God about what to do to my hair as in what conditioner to use. Because each time my hair was falling out so much when I'd shampoo I didn't even want to wash it! If you looked at it, I'd just fall out! Well, in the end my hair is very healthy and I felt that it was time to cut my hair. Totally something I said I would NEVER do. My hairstylist had been saying how I should do a bob and I was like DEFINITELY NOT. But go figure, here I come calling her telling her to chop it all off. God had given me freedom, because I told her she could do whatever she wanted to do to it. WHATEVER. Just chop it off. I went in with no picture. And guess what ? I love my hairstyle! I thought I would hate it but I absolutely loved it. I like not having all that hair.

Let's be honest though, the real reason I didn't want to cut my hair was because of how I would like. Or how I thought I would look. Isn't that always our issue when we change our physical appearance or due to some freak accident it is changed? I was convinced that I would look like a boy. Yes, I'd chop off my hair, and no one would recognize me and start calling me sir. When we're in bondage we think irrational and illogical things like that instead of truth. We as women are often in bondage to beauty (see previous post) ...To the outer, temporary things. But the truth is we are being renewed day by day (2 Corin. 4:16) in the InnerMan.   We are so worried about what we will look like we forget that it's the inside that really matters! Our bodies are breaking down day by day.  Cutting my hair was probably one of the best things I've done in a while. Shorter hair doesn't change me. I'm still the same Khamila. This scripture is what has been on my mind:
"And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away....Matthew 5:30
Quite literally, cut, remove, and get rid of anything that keeps you in bondage and cause us to sin [it could be anything...clothes, food, money, your kids, etc]. Sometimes it's literally removing those things or people such as friends. But maybe it's just refusing to keep putting that thing or person in the place where God should be.  It's the cuting off and getting rid of in His Power that maintains that freedom that Jesus has already given us .
We just must be willing.

recent picture
xoxo Mila

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He's talking to YOU

Personalize every truth and every scripture until you can read it...say/see your name...and believe it. I am constantly reminded by the Lord this week that every single word is for me. And you! Enjoy.

But now, Khamila, listen to the LORD who created Khamila.
O Khamila, the one who formed Khamila says,
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed Khamila.
I have called Khamila by name; Khamila is mine.
When Khamila goes through deep waters,
I will be with Khamila.
When Khamila goes through rivers of difficulty,
Khamila will not drown.
When Khamila walks through the fire of oppression,
Khamila will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume Khamila

Isaiah 43:1-2

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Stand and knock at the door - Be Faithful!

So I really should be doing my presentaiton right now. But I wanted to do a quick post first!I just got back from attending an Al-Anon meeting. Our assignment my professor gave us was to just to go visit, check it out, and basically write about our experience.

What an experience! These women were not down and out but full of so much joy! Beautiful! Radiant! Real! Grateful! Extremely friendly. Honest. Vulnerable. They showed up faithful (years!) to walk the journey of healing.  I was so blessed by this experience and feeling renewed in  faith as I know God heals hearts and I can't help but thank Him for this reminder. Because this is for me. It's something I constantly nee dto be reminded of.

He heals.

There's hope.

Someone once told me (in relation to prayer and God answering prayer) : "Keep standing at the door knocking - be faithful!". And that phrase popped into my head in that meeting.

 They stood and knocked and they waited. And they're waiting. God heals. I want to look at that and see a miracle. Not just some everyday occurence. Because I think it's a miracle that we can recover from hurt and pain no matter how large or small. Thank you Jesus for Reminding me always of your truth.

Stand at the door. Knock. Be Faithful:

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit

(Psalm 34:18)

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners

(Isaiah 61:1)

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds

(Psalm 147:3)

And just when the Accuser conveniently  challenges you and reminds you of how that applies to everyone elses' wounds (wounds we ALL have) ,

shut him down with:

For nothing is impossible with God.

(Luke 1:37)

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"

(Ephesians 3:20)

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

(Matthew 7:7-11)

this song was playing as I was typing :), just thought I'd share

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think.feel.live. part 2

So how do you take it to Jesus?

This is something that I have SUCH a hard time with and am finding myself doing this much more often. With a humble attitude, I just get along with Him and confess my emotions and declare that I don't want to hold onto them any longer. But I don't just stop there but instead I ask Him to help me to understand why why I feel that way. What is causing me to feel that way. More specifically what lie am I believing? Now, this takes humility in itself because regardless of if it was "someone else's fault" we don't have to be controlled by others actions. And we must be willing to acknowlledge that. But when we ask Him for revealation He WILL tell you. How do I know? In James (James 1:4-8) it says we can ask for Wisdom. So I think this very well qualifies as that. We can believe that He will show us but we may just have to be patient.

 Jesus also promises that He will do whatever we ask if we pray accoridng to His Will (1 John 5:14-15) . Is it His Will that we are conformed more to His image? Is it His Will that we are not held captive to our emotions? Is it His Will that we no longer believe LIES? Are your motives right (ie to not blame the other person )?

I know for me it is so easy to sit back and wish I didn't feel that way about someone or couldn't stop thinking about this that happened or that which happened. But I felt God saying do you really want to get rid of those emotions? Really? I had convinced myself that it was kind of a lost cause assuming that you can't really just make yourself stop feeling. This is true, we can't always just switch off an emotion. But what God showed me is that we must not only pray for help in this area BUT we must do what His word has said BY FAITH. His word says to take every thought captive. God's been showing me that as long as I keep on thinking those thoughts then those emotions will keep on coming. So see , here is the correlation between our thoughts then fuel our emotions. God's been showing me to stop pouring fuel on the flame by no longer ruminating on the offense/situation/etc. and instead pour water on the fire! Turning to the Living Water will quench that fire. It does take time but it works! And God has repeatedly given me understanding in situations to why I feel this or that way (and in response repentance.)

It's often hard think in the moment of intense emotions to think that we'll ever not have those feelings. But that's a lie. Jesus came to set the captives free and wants us to live a life by the Spirit glorifying Him.That's Truth. We can't spend time worrying about when or how. Just trust. Sometimes it's instantly, maybe tommorow. Maybe a steadfast submission to Him in that particular thing and one day you realize you don't feel that way anymore! Eitherway, He will do what He says He will do. He always stands by His Word. Just trust Him and don't worry about the How.

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think.feel.live. part 1

think.feel .live  

Do we believe this?

That thoughts lead to feelings that lead to a way of life?  Literally that what we think on can control the path we take?
Our thought life matters. Our emotions matter .It's so easy for us as women to stuff our feelings away because it's so easy to think that Jesus doesn't care about how we feel. Totally not true! He cares about the brokenhearted! Jesus wept! But, worshipping your emotions is a WHOLE different thing. If we put our emotions on a pedestal in place of Jesus this is where it becomes distored. We as humans are emotional creatures and emotion can be a great thing! Bad emotions also can be helpful to us growing and experiencing a closer walk with Jesus. They can help us to know Him better, for us to humble and submit ourselves to Him and so forth. However it's HOW we choose deal with our emotions that can be so detrimental. We cannot avoid emotions but we sure can make a choice to deal with them in a healthy manner.

What exactly do I mean by healthy? Let's start by looking at the unhealthy way . An unhealthy way to deal with emotions is to be bound by them, to be in bondage and be controlled by them. So ultimately, the healthy way would be the oppsite, to be free and be controlled by the Holy Spirit.

As I've found, there's two ways to deal with emotions:

• Ruminating
• Taking a look with Jesus

What's the difference? Ruminating is exactly what it sounds like! It's repeating and meditating over and over again. Thinking about what that person did to you and re-experiencing those emotions. You often just feel angry all over again! You think about MORE things to be upset about. Your imagination gets the best of you and you start thinking things that may not even be true!  The alternative to this is being willing to take a look with Jesus. In order to do this you must humble yourself and invite Jesus into this process. And by inviting Him in you're decalring  that you don't want to offend Him or quench the Spirit and are yet again letting Jesus have it all.

to be continued...

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